Dear Microwave, I’m Breaking Up With You

When I go out to eat, I’m expecting to pay someone to cook my food better than I can myself! Am I right? And by cook my food, I don’t mean spit or snot all over it. I also don’t mean take it out of a freezer bag and allow it to defrost, microwave it and then slop that goo onto my dish and call it a stir-fry.

OH, it gets worse!

No, I do not call myself a hipster even though if I were to take the “Are you really a hipster?” test on Google I would be 110% Hip. Save the applause please ;).

Hipster definition as follows. I am one of “those” who travel for food, who chooses the restaurant with a hip Insta over a Chain restaurant and is hard set against Starbucks and would always choose a small, hole-in-the-wall, local joint instead.

Now, for the part where my nostrils begin to flare.

When I choose to go to a Farm-to-Table restaurant, I expect everything about my dish to be real, authentic, garden-esque cuisine. No frozen vegetables, not processed cheese slices, not Wonder’s 100% processed white bread, not even iceberg lettuce. (Not that there is anything wrong with Iceberg lettuce or Kraft singles…wait, who am I kidding?)

I want it to be cooked in a real wood-fired oven…Wait. I can’t do this anymore! There it is. Pause. Stop. A REAL STOVE. (I won’t be that dramatic and ask for Butch to be cutting the wood out back). What is my alternative? A MICROWAVE!??!!?

Hold up! I get that we are in the 21st Century, but hasn’t Mr. Google taught you enough?!

There you guessed it. This just happened to me at one of my most favorite brunch spots.  Did I not ask for their house-made ooey-gooey Croissant french toast? Buttery croissant goodness meets creamy, eggy, fruity absolute awesomeness in every bite. And when it came out cold, did they not do the unthinkable when I asked them to warm it up? (No, they did not punch me in the schnoz but I almost wished they did)! They walked up to the microwave and clicked 1 min.


To all of you microwave users, I promise I won’t judge you until after you read this blog and continue using him to warm up your food.

Why. Not. The. Microwave?

Microwaves give off low doses of electromagnetic radiation. The end. Game over.

The National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences describes these electromagnetic frequencies as invisible areas of energy (referred to as radiation) that are associated with the use of electrical power and various forms of natural and man-made lighting.

Why do we hate sending small doses of electrical power into our non-powered 80% water physical bodies? That is kind of a no brainer, but allow me to spell it out for you.

These electromagnetic frequencies (EMF) have been proven to affect brain function by changing the brain glucose metabolism (Fun fact: you need glucose [usable sugar] to think clearly and function properly). EMFs have been proven to poke tiny molecular holes in the blood brain barrier allowing toxins to merge into the brain fuelling the onset of dementia and other mental illnesses. And finally, EMF fight against our internal antioxidant defenses, creating a link between EMF and Cancer (as well as a laundry list of other autoimmune disorders). The higher the dose the higher the effect. Yes, microwaves give off micro waves of radiation, although, just like filling a bucket, small doses over a long period of time will produce the same effect as one large dose at one specific time.

Now, this isn’t very encouraging, I know! Especially since wherever you are, you have found yourself in a big EMF aura cloud thanks to your cellular device and those beautiful WIFI frequencies you have been hacking into. But, this wouldn’t be a Wild blog if I didn’t give you some simple and easy solutions to keeping yourself EMF-clean! Or at least 95% clean.

If not the microwave, then what?!

Toss the bucket so you don’t kick it. That was a little harsh. Reverse! I know it’s going to require a little bit more prep time, but making small little adjustments are going to change your overall health, and they’re this easy! Try slowly using your stove instead- or even possibly a convection oven.

Take a little bit more time to warm up your leftovers and after a few short weeks, just like a bad breakup, you won’t even remember him anymore. Oh and here is another perk: using your stove to reheat food always tastes better!

Try grounding yourself!

Yes, by all means, balance those emotions, but that isn’t what I am talking about. Ground yourself by making contact with the Earth. Direct contact. Whenever and however you can! Take a barefoot walk on the grass, or even find yourself a free afternoon and head out to the beach. Grounding or Earthing yourself can eliminate excess voltages from your system.

Lastly, remind yourself that food is medicine! Eat foods with a high ORAC content. (High Oxygen Radical Absorbance Capacity). These include blueberries, broccoli, prunes, dates, asparagus, walnuts, rosemary, pomegranates, cilantro, omega-3 fatty acids, spirulina, vitamin D, and vitamin B complex, to name a few.

I know this seems like an entire system overhaul, but I promise you it gets easier. Health isn’t a destination, health is a journey! And this is just one more pit stop along the way!

To detours

Happy eating, Wild Community:)